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Bring me BACK!!!
Monday, April 13, 20094:43:00 PM
HEY HEY!!
I know I have not been BLOGGING been REAL BUSY!!! OKAY!! FIRST OF ALL! I need to complain about my VERY ANNOYING HANDPHONE!!! ARGH!! AHHH!! It DIED on me!! I can like no longer use it!!! the keypad has some problem that I cannot even press select, accept call or back?? OH MAN!! I was so tempted to just throw it down from the 8-storey!!! NOW I have to use the ARMY PHONE the very LOUSY ONE But I sort of found my previous phone which features and functions are also VERY CRAPPY OKAY!! This few WEEKS were MADNESS there is HAPPY STUFF and definitely sad ones too. But I shall always look at the bright side AND SMILE. I can hardly remember what happened this week ERR. LAST week was PRETTY SHORT cause there is only 4 SCHOOL DAYS. So I guess it is a psychological thing that everything seems SHORTER!!!! WHICH is great of course!! GOOD FRIDAY. I managed to go to church in the MORNING!!! for the EASTER SERVICE by Dr Ashley Crane It was AWESOME!! He focus on SON-SHIP with God It was very INTERESTING!! I felt the presence of God. It was a very GREAT and ADDICTIVE feeling!! I WANT MORE!! SWEATY SATURDAY. It was OKAY!! Had tuition first So didn't make it for the WHOLE thing but MANAGED to leave early at 6 so make it from 6 to 7!!! Suddenly ONE HOUR seems so PRECIOUS! Then after service was CRAZINESS!!! We were so ALIVE!!! All the youths went CRAZY!!! I guess maybe we were so BURNING for God we were jumping, singing and just rejoicing GOD!!! It was really DARK!!! I can hardly see!!! So I didn't really know where I was JUMPING!!! HAHAHHAAH It was like the only TIME there was no SEPARATOR between the LADIES and the GENTLEMEN We were like CROWDING like a CIRCLE I think people might have thought we are CRAZY or something!!! NOW, my legs HURTS very badly!! I am like limping!!! OH NO!! My friend was like "JOLENE?? Why are u limping?? What happened??" I said I jumped too MUCH then my friend became so PUZZLED. I think she is thinking why PEOPLE like me will JUMPED till they LIMP! I was like sweating when we finally STOPPED the jumping I think I stink can? was LOOKING DESPERATELY for some DEODORANT HAHAHAHAH EASTER EXCEPTION I also managed to come one SUNDAY I guess ONLY this SUNDAY!!! HAHAHAHAH I must REALLY THANK GOD for helping me come for so MANY DAYS!!! IT is like AMAZING!!! What really STRUCK me was when he said "Do not complain about what the devils are doing, but complain about what we are not doing for God." I felt like God was telling me not to DWELL in there anymore. It will never WORK Dr Ashley Crane also mentioned that we must overcome the evil one and do not ALLOW the devils to steal my inheritances It was really very ENCOURAGING!!! I am so GLAD I came!!! HAHAHAHAAH Behind that CHEERFUL smile lies something totally different. even after fitting yourself in. U know U cant lie to yourself YOU dont belong. Somehow YOU just dun. Those unknown faces confirm your thoughts even people U once knew and talked to no longer remembered YOU. they gave YOU that cold look that look really made YOU feel so cold. WHY? Why smile?? How can u still smile? I really dunno how u do that. Why are u hiding everything? LET EVERYTHING OUT? PLEASE? I beg YOU! I cannot take it ANYMORE. How long do u want to HOLD ON and PRETEND? PRETEND that everything is FINE and LAUGHED like u never LAUGHED before I know you are trying to HIDE everything. You just dun want anyone to KNOW!!! Sometimes you can really LAUGHED like a CRAZY person OTHER times u just do it to try to feel HAPPY again? STOP PRETENDING JOLENE!! It is not going to WORK It used to. BUT NOT ANYMORE!! FIN by Anberlin ( the last PARAGRAPH) Take what you will, what you will And leave. Could you kill, could you kill me If the world was on fire And nothing was left but hope or desire And take all that I could bring forth, is this hell Or am I on the floor over-desperate? Hold hands streaming of blood again? And then take full weight of me Guard my dreams, figure this out, It's me on my own. Helpless, hurting, hell Will you stay strong as you promised? Cause I'm stranded and bare. Meanness is washed up in all that I am Is God. Take this and all, Then grace takes me to a place Of the father you never had Ripping and breaking and tearing apart This is not heaven It's hell, my friend. |
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