love the way you smile (:

OVER

Thursday, February 26, 20094:49:00 PM

FINALLY
CAs are OVER!!
I have been losing a lot of HAIR
getting heavier eye bags
and getting sick
THANKS to the CAs

HAHAHA
i dunno why
I wil get STUPID runny NOSE
when I am having EXAMS
now I know why
CAUSE I AM STRESSED
hahahaahahaah
so now I am SMART enough to
ARM myself with tissue!!
HAHAHAH
my tradition for every EXAM!!
HAHAHAH

CAs have be BLAH!!
CRAZINESS
my brain is NOT WORKING!!!
first DAY- English and SS
Second DAY- Emath
Third DAY- GG and Amath
AND today
the GONER DAY
Pure bio and PHY/chem
my brain REALLY cannot TAKE it can!!
LIKE wat??

But nevermind its OVER!!
Tomorrow will be AWESOME!!!
Its Canossian Saint's Day
got a little of a HALF DAY!!
And treating myself to a MOVIE!!
having been watching since the start of the YEAR
I guess
hahaahhaha

here are some PICs that I haven't uploaded!

I was PRETTY AMAZED with the COLOR of the plates
THAT WHY
I took this PIC!!
I am not THAT LAME!!
AHAHAHAH

MY EX-SENIORS Gave this to me!
VERY NICE!!!!
They keep on saying I am slow!!
But I admit it!!
I am SOMETIMES only
HAHAH
Its SUPER encouraging!!

This is RATHER DUMB!!
But at that time I was DOING AMATH
and I really cannot think of anything to encourage me
TO STUDY!!
So I DID THIS!!
To make myself LAUGH!!
Note: The paper is UP SIDE DOWN
I didn't know TILL NOW!!
HAHAHHA

I am using this to SCARE MYSELF!!! I think ITS WORKING!!

At THINKING DAY,
If u wonder why my expression is like that
THAT's because
at that time, EZZAH was trying to distract me
while I am TAKING the PHOTO!!

JASMINE TOH!!!! UNGLAM!!

Priscilla!! HAHAAH
MY GUIDES INTERNATIONAL CAMP FRIEND!!
She forgot me LOR!!!
HAHAAHA
It's been a YEAR!!
Cannot BLAME HER!!

HEH
Another Guides INTERNATIONAL CAMP FRIEND
But she REMEMBERED me though!!!
HAHAAH SHU MEI have better MEMORY!!
HAHAH (:

That GIRL is EZZAH!! TOOK HER unglam!!
YES!!
THAT is my LAST Thinking DAY of my LIFE
SADNESS!!!

This WEEKEND is THE BEST!!
BBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT
I have Olevels chinese midyear on MONDAY
SO SPOILER!!
HAHAHAH

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Thanks

Friday, February 20, 20099:52:00 PM

I must really thank EVERYONE!
I love u people!!
I will smile TOMORROW
I promised!!!

I know everything will be OKAY.
I will not doubt that

Tomorrow is GUIDES Thinking DAY!!
YAY!!
But have to wake UP early
ERR I think 8 PLUS!!
that is BAD!!!
CRAP!!
I want to SLEEP LONGER!!!!!

Today, went to MARIE's house
to learn how to sew stitches
HAHAHAH
seriously!!
LEARN SEWING??
like WHAT????
HAHAAH
Quite FUN actually!!!
HAHAHAHA

Common TEST next WEEK!!
CRAP!!
I need a HOLE to hide!
HAHAAHAH

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Lost my sense of HAPPINESS

Thursday, February 19, 20096:13:00 PM

I want a new begininning
Everything seems like a mess NOW
I dun know what to SAY
Things just dun WORK out the way I thought it will
DISASTER

Is that awkward SILENCE
I am afraid of it!!
I just dun feel RIGHT
I feel ODD
like something is very WEIRD or DIFFERENT
that's when laughter become FAKE.
SMILES lost its meaning
Nothing is HAPPENING right!!
I dun even know how to continue!
I dunno whether I am allowed to be happy?
The THINGS inside me are bursting out
I been stopping them
Cause I dun want to HURT anyone
I dun want them to feel what I felt
It was BAD and HEARTBREAKING
What can I say?
I am SORRY!
I dunno what to do?
It is annoying for me too!!
I have lost my sense of HAPPINESS
I cant feel it NOW?

I use to have SO MUCH of it!!
I used to LOOK forward to THURSDAY
I used to have this HAPPINESS
that nothing can describe or STOP IT
OR BREAK it.
I used to play TENNIS for u
I still keep all this PHOTOS
i dunno why?
Not like it will make me HAPPY
actually It made me WORST.
But I properly TOOK and KEPT it
cause I know u were there.
and u will FOREVER be there in the BACKGROUD.
I just know it.

It's been ALMOST a year NOW.
I know where u are
BUT in just 9 more months
I will never be able to FIND you
ANYMORE.

FATE LESS
one word!
that can explain I feel just now
I admitted it MYSELF
cause i know!
AND I am too TIRED to CHANGE that FACT
I am going to LEAVE it ALONE
I dun want to WASTE my time on it ANYMORE
It do me NO GOOD!
AT ALL?
AT ALL

I am holding to the last branch of a tree
if it falls,
I know for sure
I will fall with it.

Lord
I hate change.
I really dun
I know u want me to get out of my comfort zone
I am trying
everything is happening too fast
I can hardly find a steady spot to land on
I know there are plenty of problems coming my way
I know I will not be able to withstand all of them ALONE
But Lord,
I put my truth in You
With You, everything is possible
You will scare those problems away
Amen.

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Wednesday, February 18, 200910:50:00 PM

Let me BE!!
I dun want to go on anymore
What is the point of smiling and acting happy
when I am not at all?
It dun make sense?

I want to GO back!
I want to see u again the last time
I REGRET doing what I did
that was when I am very HAPPY
REALLY REALLY
nothing can describe it!
I dunno why I thought of u again
the sun
the tennis court
the laughter
the smile
the voice
I miss them
I miss you

Many things happened today
and i said things i shouldn't say
but i saw what i wanted to see
limping

I want to be like LAST TIME
so happy
but nothing is the SAME
I keep on comforting myself
its not HELPING
at all!
give me a break please
I am sorry!
I really didn't mean what I mean
I am really really SORRY

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I dun want to be like that either

Monday, February 16, 200910:31:00 PM

Dun keep me in suspense!
Dun keep me in the dark!
Dun treat me like IDIOT!
cause I'm NOT!!
I want the truth!!
I WANT it!!

SORRY I am really not in
A GOOD MOOD!!
But here are some photos!!
(:
I am too BUSY to BLOG about stuff
So I am letting the pics do the TALKING.

I shall continue another TIME!!
BYE!!
NIGHTS!!
(:

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LALAALALA!

Tuesday, February 10, 20092:55:00 PM

HEY HEY!!
I shall continue on my ORIENTATION CAMP!!
I am TOO LAZY to upload all the photos in HERE!!
Just go Facebook and see!!
I been TAGGED to some of the albums!!
HAHAH
HERE are some that I took from my PHONE!!
so easier to upload (:

BALLOONS!! LOVE THEM!!

MY PATROL!! the PATROL LEADER AHEM. in the middle!! (:

FLOWERPECKER!!

MY PATROL SECOND!! (:

ON monday,
ME and JOY went to volunteer again!!
CAUSE must complete my 20 hours!!
THERE
we saw that CUTE BOY!!

HE is too fast!! CANT catch HIM!!

JOY insisted that I put this UP!! HER DRAWING!!

For once, the MIRRORS are too short for me!!

Who says I cant play POOL?

ERR where is the Stick and BALLS?

Joy is playing the PIANO!!

Jolene is trying to play. But FAIL!!! HAHAHAHAH (:

ERR. for your info= art and fun is the name of this white board!! (:

HMM?

LIKE WHAT?!!

WHAT!! No wonder i reply this!!
AGREED!!??

OKAY.. LAME-NESS!!

CAUGHT one unglam shot!!

Jolene's at 44th street Children's CLUB!! (:

THE restroom for staff and volunteers!!
AND JOY is....
Reaching for the rainbow in there!!??
HAHAAH

DEPRIVED CHILDHOOD!!
Go helicopter!! ROOM ROOM!

CAUGHT Joy reading this so attentively

Look carefully at the TITLE!
NEVERMIND.
Joy will hint u what it is!!
She loves this book!!

OH YA!!
Today had to host the JAPANESE STUDENTS
then were so NICE!!
HAHAAHAH!!
But it was SUPER TIRING!!!
HAHAHHAH
But miss alot of LESSONs!!
YES!!

YAY!!!
AMANDA is teaching the GUITAR!!
HAHAHAHA
she say she dun know MUCH!!
BUT who cares!!
I must PUT my cousin's guitar in good USE
hahahahha
I need to buy that PIT!!
CRAP must wait till SAT!!
since end of last month when i started learning
till now still dun have PIT la!!
I actually wanted to learn myself
but asking AMANDA brings no HARM!!
So try lor!!
HAHAHA(:

And the skin of my fingers all PEELING!!
OH NO!!!
quite painful!!!
going AMANDA's house on THURSDAY!!
CANT wait!!
But before THURSDAY!!
i have two TEST la!!
SPOILER!!
AMATH test tomorrow
and
EMATH test the following DAY!!

WHAT a WEEK??
OH NO!!
VALENTINE's day present haven't make!!
OH NO!!
this is BAD!!
LIKE no time???!!!??!!

OKAY!
I need to get started
with my revision for tomorrow's test
and my SS CAJs
TAWGS are lacking too!!
planning to also do my SS HW!!
LOTS of stuff to DO!!
OHHH MAN!!!!!
BUT nevermind...
tomorrow school is LATER!!
YES!!
AWESOME!! (:

I really want to believe that my dreams can happen some day
But now I know they will never happen
NEVER.
I really wish I have the courage to do what I want to do!!
If I do have the courage,
I would have done that so long AGO
It's the fear of rejection!!
I dun dare to!!
I dun want to get rejected!!
Dun everyone thinks that way?
OR is it only me?
it doesn't matter.
U dun need to talk, joke, laugh and walk
or anything of that sort.
staring at you makes all the difference.
seeing you being yourself makes me smile.
I just know that just you can make me happy

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