love the way you smile (:

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

Monday, January 26, 200911:45:00 PM

As I was saying yesterday,
about the WALK thing.
The WALK thing really applies to the things
I am going through
The WALK itself is like this year
life is TOUGH, STRESSFUL.
But I must remember that after the WHOLE thing
I will be very HAPPY!!
and RELAXED again.
it's like the feeling when u reached the destination
for all the 7 days
It's like I'm a nomad.
I settle in wherever I reach
It maybe uncomfortable and weird
BUT I bear with it!!!
and MOVE ON..

The incident of the LONG HIGHWAY
is LONG, BORING and
everything looks the SAME
It's like I'm LOST
But after the highway
I will definitely reach the end of it
there will be a END for everything!!
YES!!
So must be patient!!

And for the TV..
Its like telling me that even if
u are LOCKED from EVERYTHING!
U must still appreciate the little that U have!
Some how, I know people reading this WILL
so not GET IT?
but it is a REMINDER for me la (:
hahahahahahhaH

here are the PHOTOS we took when
we were shopping on SAT
although I'll not call it shopping..

Dun ask me why I am not in this PHOTO
OHH i know
It was because I was giving some directions to some people
who was heading for Boon Keng
dunno why they are so LOST!!?? HAHHAAA

AND there, I popped back IN (:

Individual PHOTOS?

WHOSE idea is this???!

SO LAME!!! AHH

EVERYONE so UNGLAM.
EVIDENCE: the 'always reveal myself QUEEN'

UH.. WHAT is RACHEL staring at??
OH MAN!!
SHE is rolling EYES at us!!
FASTER ROLL BACK!!!
HAHAAHAH

YOGES look so contented and HAPPY! hahah
She has the 'HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR' smile (:(:

NEXT is the PHOTOS I took today
WHILE visiting my relatives
We were supposed to WAKE up at 8.30am
BUT we woke up at 9.30am
it was very FUNNY
I saw the time, then dashed out of the room
like I am LATE for school like THAT
MY hair was u know MESSY?!?!
TOTALLY indescribable
ahahahhhaahaha
I visited a TOTAL of 6 HOUSES
KILLED ME!!
it was SUPER TIRING
I got a BAD headache!!
so to stop the HEADACHE
this is what we DID
(It didn't even heal my headache)

There is MANY MANY more!! But some is in my SISTER's phone hahhaa and SOME is too UNGLAM to display!! All I know is that I drank 2-3 bowls of dessert and ALOT ALOT ALOT of goodies!! hahahahhaaha It's close to 1AM!! I better SLEEP now!! (:

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The journey is TOUGH.

Sunday, January 25, 20092:36:00 PM

This picture reminds me of 7 day WALK
where my guides company had to walk around Singapore
in 7 days
The journey was unbearable
PAINFUL, tiring, HARD.
That actually tested my determination to HOLD on!!
It was really a STRUGGLE with myself
the places we WALKED are like
HIGH WAYS, ROADS, UNEVEN PATHWAYS
some places do not even have a pathway!!
I remembered once.
we had to walk through a HIGHWAY
from i think YIO CHU KANG to dunno where
It was a LONG journey
everything looked the same
even after miles and miles of walking
U seem to be like walking on the spot
nothing changes
the same few STREET LAMPS
It was never ending.
But we held on!!
ALL of us.
pulling each other on
as we approached our destination.
and the speed we were going is like CLOSE to jogging?
not the strolling KIND.
This was when WALKING starts to be a CHORE
every step gives me MUSCLE CRAMPS
I would take EVERY opportunity to rest
the funny part was the TV
We were eating our dinner somewhere
and there was a TV.
My patrol was like so AMAZED with the TV
since we were locked from
a lot of technology for a PRETTY long time
hahhah

Although, it may be a LITTLE late to REFLECT!
I really learnt ALOT from this WALK.
I have to go already
shall talk about that LATER!!
(:
BYE!

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REFLECTION

Saturday, January 24, 200910:15:00 PM

I am so LAZY to blog already...
hahahahaha
OKAY!!
Life was BORING
like DUH..
nothing much to blog about..
TILL FRIDAY!!!

Friday was the end of the WEEK!!
The sec 2s and 4s guides were involved in
Old Folks thing
We had to welcome them to SAC
then help them to the HALL
to watch the CHINESE NEW YEAR performance
there were 24 elders
and we brought them down the bus
then brought them to the canteen to eat their tea break
before the performance!!
I could remember those smiles on their FACES!!
They were so HAPPY and CHEERFUL
although they came from some home
they still tried their BEST to smile and cheer
so that things are not so DIFFICULT for us
to communicate with them
I talked to many of them
AND most of them have pretty sad lives
ONE of them even told me that even though
she have alot of children
all her children did not come to visit her
and her husband, 76 years old and is still working
so SAD..
well
especially when i sent them off
even when they were on the bus already!
they still continue WAVING at us!!!
LIKE CRAZY!!
hahahhah
so cute of them to do that!!
I was so TOUCHED by them man!!!
I hope next time
my children will not send me to a HOME man!!
I want to live with my husband(if I have one)
in a small house!!
hahahahaah

well today..
was GREAT!
Woke up early to WASH the toilet
then went out with
AVELINE, JOY, GLENDA, YOGES and RACHEL
this is all the GIRLS??
hahahha
met at FAR EAST!
I think for like 15 mins
then we left for BUGIS

I have SUPER DUPER POOR!!
i thought my Ezlink got $$$$$
but there isn't much
so I was like LEFT stranded at bugis street with no money
The rest was inside there shopping
and I dun really wan to SQUEEZE back in!
so it was SCARY!!
that 55 cents!!
Thanks EZRA!!
for that 55 cents!!
hahahahahaha
I will return it to u ASAP

After my tuition,
took bus home with that 55 cents
then called my parents down for dinner
hahahah then went to Joy's house to SEE her clothes!!
HAHAHA
it was really lame!!
I KNOW!!

WE ARE lame PEOPLE!
hahaha
she finally figured out what she wants to wear
AWESOME!
hahaha

just now,
my dad, mum and me went a bit crazy
and started pumping some AIR BED!!
hahaahah
we took turns to pump
very TIRING!!
hahahh
and there was some LEAKING some where
so my dad and I used our very HANDY masking tape
to TAPE everything UP!!!
HAHAAHH YAY
so we pump for nothing for the first few mins!!
LAME-NESS!!
then i thought that watching the TV and pumping
will be better
so i pulled that air bed to the living room!
THE DUMB THING is
that the MOVIE we were watching
is some MONSTER SHOW!!
and I was PUMPING..
then the scaring PARTS came on!!
and I was so near the TV
everything felt ZOOM IN!!
hahaha so I naturally STOPPED PUMPING
and started hugging my DAD's leg!!
hahahah
AND SCREAMING!!
hahahahaha
then my dad was like
eh not scary already la
continue..
then I was still at the state of shock
until I realised I was hugging my dad's leg
for a pretty LONG time
hahahahaha
in the END!
it took so LONG!
we like GAVE up
and use excuses like let's stop and leave it
to check whether will leak
I think they are getting the ELECTRONIC PUMP!
YES!!
GOOD!!
hahahaaha

It's POINTLESS
I know that
It's pointless to me to continue to lie to myself
stopping my brain to know the real truth.
i dun want to believe that
just that I dun want to.

back to the top

9 months!

Tuesday, January 20, 20094:31:00 PM

HEY HEY!!
School is HAHAHA!
OKAY...
Today is pretty slack!!
CAUSE there is only 4 subjects!!
YES!!
Tomorrow got SS!!
CRAP!!

OH!
Today have class commitee training
I did not really want to go
i wanted to JUST GO HOME!!
but I guess in the ned still WENT!!
very LITTLE sec 4s there!!
ahahahaahha
very PATHETIC!!!

TOMORROW is GUNITA's birthday!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Enjoy your BIRTHDAY okay!!
(:

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That love and warmth numbed my pain.

Sunday, January 18, 200910:30:00 AM

That BOOK.
That love and warmth numbed my pain.
I tell you!!
I love IT!!! I LOVE it like CRAZY!!
I also found and placed the encouraging notes
my dad threw away with the BOOK!!
I must really thank all the GIRLS
AMANDA mummy, YONG HUI, ESTEE, JERI, JOY bio-partner, JOVINA, LIPING, NICOLE, AVELINE, RACHEL, GLENDA, Aunt JOE, YOGES and TRACY
I must thank all of u for writing so SWEET MESSAGES to me!!
If u have no idea what I am TALKING
let me explain!
Yesterday,
after church.
AMANDA passed this book
with encouraging messages from all of the names above!!
cause remember..
My dad threw away mine, the last time!!
hahah
but these notes are much better though!!
haahahaha

I was so TOUCHED!!
It was so unexpecting!!
I was so shocked!!
I can kiss the book to SLEEP can!!!
hahahah
THANKS!!!
I love it!!
It really ENCOURAGED me!!!!
I am bring it WHERE EVER I go!!!
hahahahhaah
My constant GUIDE to encouragement.
hahhaahhh

Before I got that encouraging messages
I was PRETTY annoyed,
cause I may not be able to go for WATER Baptism!!
And I really want to go!!!
OH MAN!!
I never know when is the NEXT one coming
It goes the same for my 401 lesson!!
AHHHHHH!!
CANT stand it!!
I can feel the ANGER raising!!
UP UP UP!
CRAP.

OHH!!
Today,
woke up at 10am the same time as the church service!
hahaha
DOING work now!!
have SCIENCE TUITION later!!
AND a BBQ too!!
specially requested by me!!
I ask my teacher la!!
then she planning to invite the last year
O level people too!!
we are supposed to SERVE them I think!!
BUT nevermind
I just love the FOOD!!
hahahahah
YAY!!

But I am still not recovering from my FLU!!
So cant eat too much!!
my throat still very BAD!
hahahah

I can finally smile.
and look forward to tomorrow.
cause I know that I am not alone
God is with me and He always was
Just that I was too upset with MYSELF
that I didn't realise
But now I do
I am not going to HATE myself, my life
Now the more I hate something,
I will LOVE it more!
I will not blame
I will praise
I must really thank Pastor Kenny for bringing me back to my senses!!
He told me he will bring church to me!!!
And never let me MISS out in anything!
I was so happy!!
since I was left out in alot of STUFF!
but I shall not name them
what he said,
like brought me back to church!

I must go through this with God's strength
He will support me ALL THE WAY
I must reach the END and say
I WON!!
VICTORY is mine!!
YES!

I must BELIEVE in the spiritual ram,
then it WILL happen in the physical ram!
YES!

the MORE troubles coming my WAY,
BEWARE!
JOLENE is not a weakling ANYMORE!!
I will fight BACK!!
and WIN you all!!
I will twist those TROUBLES around!!

OHH!!
My dad suddenly very FUNNY!!
He suddenly gave me money to go buy SHOES!!!
hhahahha
FOR Chinese New Year!!!
hahahaha
I dunno wat to buy LEH?
how?
HEELS?
PATENT FLATS?
BALLET FLATS?
WEDGES?
OHH MAN!
And I want it CHEAP!!
then can save up the REST!!
hahahaah
I very lazy go out AGAIN!!!!
HOW HOW??
first time I am troubled with buying
hahhaha
WEIRD!!!
I only know it has to match my both dress!!
hahhaa
maybe a not very high heels!!
since I dun have one!!
hahah
I know it will be BLACK or white!!
hahahaH

Shall do some of my TAWG now!!
hahahhah (:

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I need a BREAK!

Friday, January 16, 200910:07:00 PM

OHH OHH!!
This is a PHOTO of me and RACHEL on the bus
to TEMASEK POLY (:
hahahaha

AND on the next day,
had GUIDES!!! hahaah
It's been a week already lor!! I still never upload the photo yet
till NOW!!
hahah

ME and JASMINE figuring out how to MAKE the
MONKEY BRIDGE!!
NOTE:
it was supposed to be done by last SAT
BUT it still sits at the table in GUIDES ROOM!!
HALF DONE!!
last knot, very HARD to tie!!
AND there's no TIME!!

In the midst of tying the MONKEY BRIDGE!
we CAUGHT EZZAH sleeping in guides room!!
SENIORS SLACKING!!
hahaha no la!!
She got PARENTS' NIGHT on that day
so EXCUSED (:

CCA ORIENTATION itself!!
Played with guides very own hand-made SWING!!
LOVE IT!!
the girl behind me is AGNES!!
she is REAL STRONG!!
she can LIFT me up!!

This is an UNGLAM shots of my juniors!!! hahah
while I am swinging!!
hahaha

Today is FRIDAY!!
finally!!
Before I could say HOORAY
YAY!!
I can REST!!
I had ALOT of other STUFF to do!!
My first HEART ATTACK was when I realised that
I forgot to bring my SS Notebook
I tell u!!
I nearly JUST FAINT on the spot!!!
cause this is will be my SECOND time not bringing stuff
for SS!!
SO I WAS GOING CRAZY!!
Luckily, God saved me.
Teacher never CHECK!!
LUCKY!!!
or my PARENTS will be CALLED lor!!
SCARY!!
the first time was CAUSE I forgot to bring my WHOLE file!!
hahahahah
I think cause YESTERDAY a bit too TIRED!!
at 12 plus already,
I just started sewing some things to my GUIDES U!!
hahha
GUIDES pass very fast TODAY!
AWESOME!!
We did KNOTS and lashings
and FIRELIGHTING!!
hahahaha
My voice is still very WEIRD cause of my struck nose!
and ITCHY throat!
I had to RAISE my voice to teach my juniors the KNOTS to learn
and they REFUSED to listen?
I cant raise any louder already la!!
but in the end they did!!
LIKE FINALLY!!
cause I TOLD them OFF
and with the EX-SENIORS help!!
hahahaha
BUT remember!!
I was angry at that time not now!!
so ya (:

TOMORROW there's a meeting with the sec FOURS and the teachers
dunno whether my mum still wants to go?
hahahah
cause her school have some CONCERT of charity!
hahahah

CHURCH tomorrow TOO!
CANT WAIT!
But I still have not finish my TAWG!!
OHH NO!!
I try RUSHING!!
but like cant RITE?
there's ALOT!!
AND I am so sleepy now!!

OH NO!!
GOT alot of other work too!!!
HOW HOW?
AMATH
GEO TEST
EMATH
GOSH!
I shall wake up early tomorrow to do!!!
ahahahahha
My BREAD looks so CUTE!!
I dun even know how I eat till like that!!!
hahaahah

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Jealousy.

Thursday, January 15, 20093:25:00 PM

I am JEALOUS!
WOW!!
It's terrible.
everything i see reminds me of IT!!
But I cant stop it!!!
I think it will get worst!!
NOT GOOD!
every time I look at them
I will feel so IGNORED
Why ain't I in it?
WHY?
I dun want to be left out
I dun want to be left behind
I dun want to be left alone
I cant do things alone
PLEASE.
I am already left behind for many things
dun make it worst for me
I know every one wants me to hold one
succeed
and not give up!!
I want to!!
I just want to go like any other person
I just want to worship and praise
why is all this so different for me?
why cant I be like the others
so free in choosing what they want
I dun want anything else
I just want one thing
Make me normal
please make me normal
i dun wan to be different
i want to be free
every thing, every person reminds me
of what I hate
it makes me dislike myself
my life
I dun want to do that
who does?

Yes. I still believe that one day they will be saved
but at the same time
I want to just be the same
be normal
do wat others do
feel wat others feel
dun just leave me there
i dun want to wait so long
i belong here
please bring me along
i know i didn't get to go for it
but please
give me other options
just bring me along
dun just dump me there to rot
please
I dun wan to WAIT!
I want to be like other person
take watever they take
do watever they do
even if I am not there half the time
make me normal
I dun want to MISS any single bit of anything

I know I am not suppose to compare but still!!
I just dun want to miss anything!!!
I will try my best to make it!!

OKAY!!!
Let me blog about yesterday first!
SCHOOL as usual....
then went to meet EZZAH
to go for GUIDES CCA AUDITION!!
We were allowed to just peek in and ask some QUESTIONS
YEAH!!
FUN!!
but very tired
went for tuition
super sleepy!!
almost sleep
or i think i did sleep!
hahaha

TODAY is the most tiring day of the WEEK!!
cause have six subjects
and they drives me NUTS!!
hahahaha
SUPER TIRED!!
TO add on to whatever I have!!!!
my nose is running for Olympics
and my throat is a construction worker
specialized in sawing
CRAP!

i want to sleep!!
where's my ZZZZZ monster?
hhaha

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Where do I belong??

Tuesday, January 13, 20095:32:00 PM

I feel so annoyed with MYSELF!!
I know I have to move on!!
AND WORK HARD!
But now all I want is to just sit there and cry my heart out
I know I cant do anything else.
I know others are angry at me for being like that
But I am sorry
I just cant help it.
I am not as strong as u
I am not as determined as u
I dun BLAME u!
U were helping me!
I know!! THANKS!!! (:
HOPE u will NOT be ANGRY with me
I am sorry..
I wasn't in the MOOD.
BUT I am trying already
TRYING very hard
believe me I am trying!!
I can SMILE when no one remind me of ANYTHING
so please DUN!!
DUN!!
I still cant HANDLE it!!
I am sorry I can only CRY!
there is nothing I can do!
there is nothing I can say!
I know I must believe!!
I know I must have faith!!
I guess this is really a test of faith!
a TEST for ME!!
I know I want to overcome it!!
I want to!
BUT at that point,
I feel that my goal is blurring
it is FADING.
disappearing into a MILLION PLACES!!
Why is the place that I once look forward to go to
MAKING me sadder and
making me CRY??
It is that reason.
I know.
I thought I could handle it!
I was WRONG!
But I know it is not WORTHWHILE to just give up like that
So I will GET UP and TRY AGAIN!!
and TRY TRY!!
until I succeed!!

JOLENE!!
STOP CRYING!!
STOP SIGHING!!
STOP WAILING!!
START MUGGING!!
I know u are sad about that issue..
maybe it is telling u something
that things cant be FORCED!
Let it be JOLENE!
stop clinging to it!!
U will hurt yourself MORE!
I know U so want to be inside too!!
I know that.
BUT u cant!!
maybe u just dun BELONG there!
I know your heart broke into MANY MANY pieces.
But u can still pick them up ONE by ONE!!
and START again!
START afresh!
OKAY Jolene!!
STOP DREAMING jolene!
WAKE UP!!
U dun know where u belong.
But u will find out next year!
WAIT patiently!!
BY next year!!
u will have STRONGER faith!
U will RAISE up!!
JOLENE!!
I dun ALLOW u to CRY ever again!!
I dun allow u to sigh!
or GIVE UP!!
or be LAZY!!
JOLENE must always SMILE and be HAPPY!!!
YEAH!!
U can DO it!!!
I know u can!!

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The MEANING

Monday, January 12, 200910:08:00 PM

HEY HEY!!
This is ZHI TING's Birthday PARTY!!
it was AWESOME!!
I am sure EVERYONE had FUN!!!
hahahahah

OKAY..
Went out with my SISTER
to buy CHINESE NEW YEAR CLOTHES!!
hahahahaah
I bought a girly DRESS
and a FUNKY dress!!
I will WEAR them SOON!!!
YAY!!
LOVE IT!!
okay..
got to SLEEP!!
BYE!!
(:

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I am LOST!!

Friday, January 9, 20099:51:00 PM

LEAD me
I am LOST!
I really dunno why to go Lord
Help me and bring me to a PLACE where I really want to go
I feel guilty!
VERY guilty!
I will try!!
BUT the laziness always make me FAIL
I want to succeed.
SUCCEED!
I will not FEAR!!
I will not be fearful of being HURT!
I must STAND UP for what I believe IN!

Although I dun sound very HAPPY
This is one HAPPY MOMENT
I was PLAYING with the WEBCAM with my SISTER!!
hahahha
and EATING BISCUITS for supper!!
hahahahahaha
YUM!

CCA today.
very TIRED..
scream ALOT today
I think I very FIERCE today.
hahahahaha
THE COOLEST MOMENT
was when I was at the 2nd level GUIDES room
then from there
I SHOUTED to the sec THREES
which was like half a canteen AWAY!!
hahahaha
I told them to come UP in 5 MINS
THEN they RAN lor!!
GOOD!! (:
hahahahaahah
I never knew my voice so LOUD.
OKAY.
I must say if I shouted at anyone today.
dun blame me OKAY
I am sorry
hahahahah
I didn't mean it la!
So dun RUN AWAY from me when u see me!!
hahahh

I am very confused
I dunno where to go after O levels
I know PEOPLE will think i DUMB
think SO EARLY!!
but this is JOLENE
I need a TARGET, then I will like WORK towards it!!
but my mum always say
DO VERY VERY WELL then can choose
hahahah
YEAH
I know
PROVIDED .....
okay..

tomorrow's CCA Orientation
in charge of ROPE LADDER and SWING
I think
hahahahah
GOT 30 mins of church TOMORROW!!
YAY!!
HOORAY!!!
I think i going church to STUDY..
SEE HOW!
hahahahah
(:

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ALERT and AWAKE!!

Tuesday, January 6, 20094:05:00 PM

HEY HEY!!
I have decided that instead of finding pictures from the web
to put at the start of every post!!
I shall put my PAST HAPPY photos!!!
hhahahaha
Some maybe very UGLY or DUMB!!
But i like it SO..
ahahahah
This photo above is LIKE AGES ago!!!
I think it is when I'm SEC ONE??
OH NO!!
NERD NERD ALERT!!
OH! this is AFTER my MAKEOVER I think!
hahahaaha
My friends came to my house with a CAKE to celebrate my BIRTHDAY!
They are AWESOME people!
that was my first time i celebrated my BIRTHDAY with candles!!
AMAZING rite??
12years of my life without any candles..
Although now we are not in the SAME CLASS anymore!!
I will REMEMBER them FOREVER for making my 13th birthday
SO MEMORABLE!!!
hahaahhaha

OKAY..
TODAY was okay!!
some lesson STARTED already..
Amath, Geography and Chinese
I was WIDE awake!!
CAUSE yesterday slept EARLY!!
12.oo!!
HAHAA
not very EARLY!!
MY MUM WAS SCREAMING AT ME TO SLEEP
It's AMAZING!!
hahaahahaahah
I did what I need to do!!
write notes, listen and BLAH BLAH!!
it's like every 5mins
I will hear this TWO WORDS that can
FREAK me OUT till I faint
"O LEVELS!!"
I really dunno how to handle the stress when the exams are nearing!!
I will have this ULTRA blur and worried FACE!!
U know I get STRESSED UP easily
SO ya!!
dying already!
CRAP!
I am going to START reading dictionaries!!
......
YES I'm not kidding. I'm not very SURE how to do it though
If u all have any tips on O levels
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me
U will be doing a GREAT FAVOR!!!
AND I will love u like CRAZY!!!!
OKAY..
i mean thank u like crazy..that sounds much better!!
i shall start DOING my SS stuff and writing NOTES!!
ten years series TOO!!

I think I must really PULL UP MY SOCKS already!!
AND WORK like super super HARD!!
so
i dun think i will be blogging that often from now on!!
hahahaha
i will try to COME ONLINE though
it's the typing of POST that occupy quite a lot of TIME
hahahahaha
YEAH!
AHHHHHH!!
STUDY STUDY STUDY!
MUG MUG MUG!

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HAPPY HAPPY!!

Monday, January 5, 20096:06:00 PM

HEY HEY!!! I am BACK!!
I know I have not finish my POST the last time!
BUT I am really too LAZY to continue that!
hahahaahaha
OHH all I want to REMEMBER is
SATURDAY!!!
THAT was my BEST SAT
this year
It was GREAT!!
Although i did not made it for the WHOLE youth!!
I only manage to hear ONE SONG!!
hahhaah
but they played ANOTHER song for ME!!!
LIKE come on!!
I ran all the way DOWN la!!!
I deserve MORE than 1 SONG!!
hahahahaah
After church!
I only have 15 mins of it!!
i realised from this year on i can only have the most 1/2hr of church
every week!!
It was REALLY heart breaking!!
i really could not take it!!!
I feel like just staying in church to enjoy the feeling!
the feeling is indescribable.
it just ROCKS!!!
It TOTALLY KILLED ME!!!!

OKAY.....
then what I never expect is that!!
everyone was encouraging and cheering me up!!
i never felt so LOVED before!!!
never met so many people who CARED so much
they just sat on the carpet and cheer me ON!!
I really LOVE them man!!!!
THERE WERE ALOT OF PEOPLE so
i cant really remember..
But I must thank AMANDA!!!
She helped me ALOT!!
hahhaah
SO I SHALL not LET God and anyone DOWN!!!
I MUST PULL THROUGH THIS!!
hahahaha
From today ONWARDS!!!
I can only think POSITIVE!!
NO NEGATIVE!!
ahahahahahah
Must throw all those BAD THOUGHTS away!!
hahaha
here's your chance to catch me if I have any BAD THOUGHTs!!
surely have one LOR!!
hahahaahaha
so here are some PHOTOS that made me HAPPY!!
Some maybe very unglam
but I know i was FEELING HAPPY when it was TAKEN!
hhahaaha

Guides BBQ!! I love BBQ!!

CHURCH!! (:

Guides CHALET!!

Church OUTING!!! (:

MY FATHER HAMSTER!! I miss u!!!
I know u are up there!! (:

LINEY!!! I miss u too!!!
FOR YOUR INFO AGAIN!!!
They all die already!!
HAHA(:
YEAH!!
i really MISS THEM!!!
they make me SMILE!! (:
OKAY!!
something HAPPENED!!
and all the other PHOTOS were erased!!
hahahhahah
nevermind!!
hahhahahaahah
HAPPY JOLENE will OVERCOME all obstacles this YEAR!!
REJOICES!!
DID flag-raising!!
I SUCCEEDED!!
hahahahah
for your INFO: I been doing that for like close to 1 year!!
hahahhah
still cant master the SKILL!!
I'll try!!
hahahaahah
THIS IS my POOPY!!!
MY FAVOURITE HAMSTER!!
HE left me EARLY!!
I MISS HIS HANDSOME EYES!!!

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CRAP!!

Friday, January 2, 200910:29:00 PM

HEY HEY!!
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!
CRAP!!!
I could so feel the STRESS!!!!
I feel OLD!!
Sec FOUR leh!!!
oldest already!!
3 years has PASSED!!
AMAZING!!!

Let me THINK BACK!!
hahahah
Sec 1: TERRIBLE!! I look like a NERD!!! hahahahah
even my SENIORS ask me to get a makeover!!!
HEART BROKEN LOR!!!
Sec 2: FUN!! But i dun really like my CLASS!!
Sec 3: STRESSFUL!! Alot of STRESS and Responsibility!! DUNNO how to COPE!!
Sec 4: CRAP!! There is so MUCH happening!! MORE stress and responsibility!! But can cope better!! hahhah

This year is going to be CRAP!!!
Seriously,
CANT go CHURCH!
O LEVELS
President Guide Award!
MY!!
I cant TAKE IT!!
People going SCHOOL!!
I like going BATTLE FIELD!!!
I MUST DO WELL!!!!
PROVE TO MY DAD!!
BUT SOMETIMES it's HARD!!!
REAL HARD!!
I am staring at my desk's encouraging NOTES again.
SEARCHING for more Strength!!!
OH MAN!!
I need more encouragement to PULL through this TEST!!!
I cannot do on my OWN!!
I need YOU God.
WALK with me
LEAD me

My mum suddenly scolding me for GOING for TUITION!!
LIKE WOW?
like HELLO!!!
If your daughter is SUPER smart, u dun need to give her TUITION!
BUT she is NOT!!
she is STUPID!!!!
DUMB!!!!
SLOW!!!!!
RETARTED!!!!!!
when I need the tuition the MOST!
she blames me for IT!!
like I dun have a CHOICE!!!
DAMN!
She was like blaming EVERYTHING on me
cause she BAD MOOD!!
LIKE WAT!
SOMEtimes I feel STUPID,
cause all I do is CRY
SOB!!
what else can I do!!
CANNOT talk BACK wat!
CRAP!!

I have no mood to blog in detail
due to my mum
in short
there's meeting today!
sadly
till 6pm!!
all I remembered was that all the SEC fours leaders had to talk with the SEC twos
like see how they are feeling and everything!!
YA!!
VERY SHY sec 2s
then
was supposed to go to JASMINE KOH's surprise BBQ PARTY
In the end,
cannot go
MY mum is still HUNTING me over the tuition.
CRAP!!
My mum is like wat?
threatening me?
that if I dun do well for my PHY and CHEM
I cant go for tuition!!
OKAY!!
I really REALLY have no mood to continue..
BYE!!

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